I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
