Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
