Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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