Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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