Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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