New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize