Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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