Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
