how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
