Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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