He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Randomize
