we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
