This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
