States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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