Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
