There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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