Your tits are I can't wait for
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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