I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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