my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
