Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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