"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
