He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
