Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Send help, water and tortillas.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
