she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
