bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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