It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I deserve this hangover.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
