I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
