I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
