how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize