I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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