he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
