I smell stomach acid.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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