This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
