her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
