She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
