Quick, to the slutcave!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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