"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
