i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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