if i died would you start the facebook group?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
