do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm both gender and math confused
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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