I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
