And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
