In the future we'll all be gay
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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