you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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