I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize