What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just tell him i said nine months
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
