I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize