i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
