I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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