dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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