You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
