YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
