I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
