K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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