This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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