I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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