At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
