just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
