You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
