It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Too much gin, very little bucket
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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