Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
