I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
