Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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