WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He did a backflip because drugs
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