Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
