Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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