Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
