Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize