how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
