using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
