dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize