so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I currently don't understand fingers.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
