Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
